Experts say the best treatment for depression is still having coal-covered street urchins sing over dance disturbances
NEW YORK – Adding to a growing body of evidence to support the approach, psychiatrists at Columbia University released research on Friday that confirmed listening to streptococci coated in charcoaland kids sing a song about dancing your troubles was always the best treatment for clinical depression. “In 90% of cases, the most successful intervention for major depressive disorder was having a young ragamuffin pat the subject on the shoulder and say, ‘Wait, guv’nah – how did you frown days? ” said lead researcher Alfred Evans, describing how the moods of severely depressed individuals improved when a group of dirty, hardened chimney sweeps and newspaper gavers appeared one by one in the nearby alleys and started in an irresistible and witty song. and-dance number. “Even the most disadvantaged patients, those who do not respond to antidepressants or speech therapy, have experienced a decrease in symptoms after being exposed to the light footsteps and carefree chants of a choir of orphans of 5 at age 10 with names like Skimble Flintwich, Humsy Wumsy and Lil ‘Tom Wopsle. People who suffered for decades from a sense of inherent worthlessness not only smiled as these mischievous thugs in kneepads and suspenders performed a choreographed routine with their horsehair brooms, but actually joined the final chorus. exciting song called “ Chin Up The Livelong Day! ‘By the time these stunned youths smeared mustaches with shoe polish under their noses and imitated a group of outraged businessmen, most cases of depression had been completely cured. Evans speculated that the treatment’s effectiveness might come from patients concluding that if these penniless aligners were able to smile through tough times, then, well, maybe anyone could.